I am in a funk

We are finally out of the basement and using the brand new kitchen!

Our fridge (or should I say the MIL’s fridge) was back ordered forever, and then the replacement fridge we ordered took another 2 weeks for delivery. Screw you, The Brick!

Anyway, its here and its a nice KitchenAid with the freezer on the bottom. I spent all of Sunday bringing up the stuff from the basement – food, pots and utensils. Then I put everything away in the fridge, freezer, drawers and cabinets. It was a big job and I was exhausted. I had to basically organize the new kitchen with someone else’s belongings!

It was really annoying and intimidating. Annoying because I wasn’t really up for doing that – like am I a built-in servant at this house now? (Wow that’s really grouchy of me!) And intimidating because the MIL will be back next month and I am sure there will be endless discussion of my choices, and I am not up for that either.

Basically I am in a funk about living in a house that isn’t mine. I feel like an outsider and I can’t get comfortable here. I hate cleaning stuff that seems like it was designed to need the most amount of cleaning possible. For example the vanity in the main bathroom is three tiers of glass, topped with a glass bowl. It shows everything. From the moment I clean the darn thing, it looks dirty again in a few hours. I can blame D. for picking that thing out when he re-did the bathroom a few years ago. It seriously haunts my nightmares. Plus it is the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen.

Ugh I am seriously on a rant here.

I have been wanting to be a “good” wife but its hard to balance my ideals with my reality. In reality I get hyper annoyed by every little thing. In my ideals I can cheerfully maintain a comfortable home, cleaning and all. I think I need to grow up.